


no way (I won't say it)

by blackkat



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friendship, Gay Disaster Kakashi, Humor, KakaZabu Week 2018, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Kakashi, Sexual Fantasy, Yule Ball, but lowkey, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 11:42:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15194039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackkat/pseuds/blackkat
Summary: All of this, Kakashi would like it noted, is because he hasterrible friends.





	no way (I won't say it)

**Author's Note:**

> For a prompt left on my Tumblr that asked for a HP AU. I am trash for HP AUs. Whoops.

When Obito slinks into the library, looking bewildered and also a little hunted, Kakashi can _feel_ every single protective instinct stand up and bristle all at once. They're seventh years now; he’d thought the days of people hiding Obito's books and hexing him in the hallways was over with, but if it’s not—

Well. Kakashi isn't the champion of the Dueling Club for nothing.

“What happened?” he demands, one hand braced to rise to his feet and hunt down whatever idiots think Obito is bad or wrong just because he’s a Slytherin, just because he’s got a conviction for Dark magic that he’s _making up for_ and a past of listening too closely to a would-be Dark Lord.

Obito falls into the free chair, looking suspiciously dazed. He’s devastating in a fight but he’s also human; if he gets Confunded he’s as vulnerable as anyone, and Kakashi’s seen too many people use that tactic. He bristles, even as he tries to contain himself, and—

“I have a _date_ ,” Obito says, sounding absolutely bewildered. “Someone asked me to the Yule Ball.”

There's a moment of complete silence.

“What,” Kakashi says, and hopes the flatness of his voice covers the surge of panic. Obito can't have a date. _Kakashi_ doesn’t have a date, and as Hogwarts’s Champion he _needs_ one. He’d been counting on Obito to go with him, just as friends, to save them both the shame of being alone at the ball.

Of course, it probably would have been better to tell Obito this outright instead of just expecting him to end up dateless. _Damn it._

“A date,” Obito repeats, still dazed, and then sinks forward with a groan to bury his face in his arms. The tips of his ears are crimson. “Merlin, Kakashi. I have a _date_.”

“Who?” Kakashi asks, and maybe his immediate suspicion is a bad thing, but people have been awful to Obito for _years_ now, and maybe some of it is justified, but this seems like it could be the setup to a needlessly cruel trick, and Kakashi just…wants to make sure it won't end badly. Nothing about being a prefect says he can't check up on the interpersonal relationships between students.

(He pointedly ignores the fact that Obito isn't in his House and would _definitely_ hex him for doing so. What Obito doesn’t know won't hurt him.)

“Yahiko,” Obito says, and lifts his head to give Kakashi a helpless look. “Kakashi, _Yahiko_ asked me out.”

The Beauxbatons Champion, Kakashi thinks, dissatisfied. Voted most bangable by pretty much every witch and wizard his own age with leanings towards the male persuasion, and also probably most likely to become the French Minister of Magic by the time he’s twenty-five. Not _terrible_ , as far as potential dates if Obito does have to have a date, but Kakashi is going to withhold judgement.

“What did you say?” he asks warily, because he knows Obito. If Obito didn’t put his foot in his mouth at least once, he’ll eat his own tie.

If anything, the color on Obito's ears gets darker. “I, uh. I said yes? And. I may have told him I used to be one of Madara's followers.”

He gets that last sentence out on a single breath, mashed together and vaguely desperate, and Kakashi freezes. Even though he’s still face-down on the table, Obito groans in agreement and says miserably, “I _know_. It just came out.”

…Well. This definitely means Yahiko is going to need watching.

“He didn’t walk away?” Kakashi asks cautiously, which honestly would have been a mild reaction compared to some. Madara was a definite Dark Lord, and even the fact that Obito was the one to kill him doesn’t make the rest of their world look on him favorably.

Obito pauses, finally lifts his head. He meets Kakashi’s eyes, and that expression is the same damned one Kakashi first encountered on the Hogwarts Express six years ago, vulnerable and wide-eyed and tentatively hopeful, reaching out even when everything says he should have learned not to by now.

“He said,” Obito starts, clears his throat. Ducks his head, and says with a trace of tears thick in his voice, “He said he thought it was admirable that I changed the way I did.”

 _Damn it_. Now Kakashi is _absolutely_ going to have to keep an eye on Yahiko, because that was fucking smooth and Kakashi doesn’t trust a statement like that as far as he can throw Professor Hashirama.

It also means Kakashi is most definitely without a date and without options to get another one. He’s trying not to think about that.

 

 

“Rin—” Kakashi starts desperately.

“I'm going with Kurenai,” Rin says without looking up from her Potions homework. “Ask Gai.”

Kakashi slides lower in his seat, debating the urge to cry. “He’s going with the Slytherin girl. Terumī.”

That actually makes Rin's quill pause, and she looks up in surprise. “Really? Good for him. I thought he was just going to pine from a distance.”

Kakashi makes a face behind the cover of Rin's textbook. Gai's version of pining from a distance is pining all over Kakashi, which is terrible and the kind of thing that gives Kakashi hives. “Can't you just—”

“I'm not going to ask Obito to _break his date_ with an _illegally hot Quidditch champion_ just because you're too much of a coward to talk to other people, Kakashi,” Rin says, because she’s merciless. When Kakashi winces, she huffs, sets her quill down, and faces Kakashi squarely. Kakashi honestly kind of preferred her being distracted. “ _Fine_. Tenzō?”

“Shisui,” Kakashi says, and he can't even be mad about that, because he’s been hoping they’d get locked in the broom shed for two solid years now.

“Anko?” Rin prods, because of course she has a running tally of all the people Kakashi has ever talked to, regardless of their House.

“Shizune,” Kakashi mutters, because he _was_ willing to use Anko as a back-up date, even with the threat of Professor Orochimaru looming behind her. That should speak volumes as to his desperation.

Brows lifting delicately, Rin leans back in her seat and folds her arms across her chest. “Hmm. Asuma? He’s usually down for a pity date.”

“Going with a Durmstrang student.” And Kakashi is _absolutely certain_ Asuma only said yes to Hidan on the off chance that it would make his father’s head explode, but it still takes him out of the running.

“Iruka?”

“He asked Utakata.” Or, well, tripped over the Slytherin and blurted out the words before his brain could catch up with his mouth, but it has to count. It’s also better than Kakashi is currently doing, which is mildly offensive.

“Oh, Kakashi,” Rin sighs, like everyone else getting dates is Kakashi’s own fault. When Kakashi gives her a dirty look, she rolls her eyes. “Aoba, Genma, Kotetsu, Tsume, Konan—”

“Who?” Kakashi asks blankly. This is why Rin is the people person out of the three of them.

“Konan,” Rin repeats, slowly, like that will make him remember. “The Beauxbatons girl you were talking to three days ago. Blue hair, paper flower behind her ear, cursed Professor Jiraiya so badly for looking down her robes that he’s still in the Hospital Wing?”

“ _Oh_ ,” Kakashi says, because that was rather unforgettable. “She’s a lesbian. She’s going with Tsume. And…I think Aoba and Genma are arguing over which of them gets to go with one of the Durmstrang students, Kisame. Kotetsu has detention.”

“Of course he does.” Rin taps her fingers against her elbow, then gives Kakashi another look and says, “You realize the Ball is in a _week_ , don’t you?”

“ _Rin_ ,” Kakashi very definitely doesn’t whine.

“Zabuza doesn’t have a date yet,” Rin tells him sweetly. “I know that for a fact. Good luck, Kakashi.”

Kakashi hates her so much right now.

 

 

If Kakashi were smart and made good life choices, he would remember that getting drunk with Rin never ends well. Preferably, he’d also have refrained from telling her, while drunk off his ass on firewhiskey, that Zabuza’s biceps were magnificent and had starred in the vast majority of Kakashi’s wet dreams since he first started having them. That would have neatly avoided both the indignity of his hangover the next morning and Rin's mild but long-lasting pique that Kakashi could find her Quidditch rival attractive in any way. It _also_ would have fixed Rin knowing anything at all about Zabuza and dating and Kakashi wanting to.

Well. Wanting to date Zabuza’s _biceps_ , maybe; the rest of him Kakashi could gladly leave out.

Sadly, Rin happens to be correct in her assessment of Zabuza as currently dateless, which Kakashi possibly finds out by skulking behind the door of an empty classroom while the Hufflepuffs and Slytherins wait in the hall for Professor Tobirama. There are rather too many members of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team present for Kakashi’s tastes, Zabuza included—they have an ongoing feud with Rin, who has never in her life backed down from anything even when she probably should, and Kakashi is a Known Associate at this point, which means he’s something like fair game even if it never ends well for the Quidditch team.

Despite the team’s presence, Kakashi _does_ get to hear Mei spend a solid seven minutes ragging on Zabuza about his fate of sitting alone in the common room while the Ball happens. There are quite a few Cinderella jokes, too, which Kakashi appreciates, even if Zabuza doesn’t. Maybe _especially_ because Zabuza doesn’t. Zabuza spends most of that time muttering threats, and Kakashi absolutely doesn’t imagine him slouching against the wall, sulky and sullen, with his thick arms crossed over his chest.

He also firmly doesn’t imagine the last time he let Rin drag him down to watch the Hufflepuff team practice, and how Zabuza lost his shirt within ten minutes, ostensibly to a bet with Mangetsu. He’d flown the rest of the time with his chest bare, swinging his Beater’s bat and shouting good-natured ribbings at Shisui whenever he missed the goals, and Kakashi had thought about the chill, imagined Zabuza in the locker room afterwards, flushed and still shivering, half-naked, nipples hard from the cold and mouth sweet from the mints he likes, body arching to put every muscle on display—

“You know,” Obito says dryly, “I could pass him a note during class if you want.”

Kakashi absolutely does not jump and squeak. He _does_ spin to fix Obito with a glare, and demands, “How did you even get in here?” Because he’s standing in front of the only door, and there’s no way he was _that_ distracted.

Obito breezes past that, the way he always does when Kakashi wanders across him in some improbable location with no explanation. “Since we’re clearly reverting to first year and all of that stalking—”

“I didn’t _stalk_ Zabuza,” Kakashi says, dignity wounded by the very _implication_.

“Were we talking about Zabuza?” Obito asks, perfectly mild, and it’s only as the trap snaps shut that Kakashi realizes how perfectly it was laid. “I meant Baki.”

Clearly, Kakashi is in dire need of better friends.

“I didn’t stalk Baki, either,” Kakashi tells him archly. “Shouldn’t you be in class?”

“Because _now_ you care that you're a prefect,” Obito says dryly. “Professor Mito sent me with a message for Tobirama. You were brooding so loudly that I couldn’t ignore it.”

“Not _brooding_ ,” Kakashi defends. “I just didn’t want to deal with the Hufflepuff team.”

Obito hesitates, bites his lip. “Is that a Rin thing or a _me_ thing?”

“A Rin thing,” Kakashi says, and maybe it’s not _instant_ but he definitely doesn’t linger getting the words out. Obito worries enough as it is. “She charmed the entire team’s robes yesterday.”

“To strangle them, right?” Obito smiles a little, crooked and warm. “Yeah, she told me. She should have been a Slytherin, not a Gryffindor.”

Given the way Rin at fourteen faced down Obito in the grip of Madara's control, matched him curse for curse and broke down the Madara-inspired madness until Obito was collapsed, shaking, in her arms on the battlefield, Kakashi honestly can't say he agrees. Rin was born to be a Gryffindor. He just hums, though, letting the point go without an argument, and tells Obito, “You should head back to class.”

“Yes sir, Prefect Hatake sir,” Obito says, perfectly bland, but the look he gives Kakashi is the next best thing to challenging.

Kakashi sighs, because really, being friends with Rin and Obito is such a trial. “What will _Yahiko_ think of you if you're skipping class?” he asks, gives the same the same breathy, fluttery edge that he’s heard girls sighing over Quidditch magazines use.

Predictably, Obito flushes crimson, color sweeping down his face. “We’re not talking about Yahiko, we’re talking about your crush on Zabuza!” he hisses.

“Not so _loud_ ,” Kakashi hisses back, casting a vaguely panicked look at the door. If Zabuza leaves the other room for any reason, if he _hears_ —

“I'm glad you're finally admitting to it,” Obito says, because he’s a _snot_. “Let me know about that note.”

Kakashi spins, ready to explain in detail all the ways he doesn’t have a crush on _Zabuza Momochi_ of all people, opens his mouth—

And realizes he’s staring at an empty room. Obito is nowhere to be seen.

“How do you even _do that_ ,” Kakashi growls, but there is, predictably, no answer.

 

 

It’s almost Christmas, snow thick on the ground outside, but some people brave the cold and wet at every opportunity. People like Zabuza, and Kakashi watches from the window of an out of the way sitting room as he wanders the white-covered shore of the Black Lake, listening to one of the first years. Another Hufflepuff, by his tie, and he doesn’t seem intimidated at all by Zabuza’s stature or the fact that he’s a seventh year. Kakashi’s seen them together before, and their names are different, but he thinks they act more like family than friends.

It’s definitely not cute watching Zabuza slow his long strides for the small boy, or lean down just a little to listen to him. There's nothing adorable in the way the younger Hufflepuff looks up at him, long brown hair falling out of its bun, or how Zabuza considers something before he answers, even when Kakashi knows he’s not the thoughtful type.

Kakashi isn't going to ask him. He’s not _stupid_. Liking Zabuza’s biceps and having occasional thoughts about the use thereof in certain situations doesn’t mean Kakashi wants to take Zabuza to the Yule Ball, where he’s going to have to open the night with the other Champions. And really, putting them through the Tasks seems like _more_ than enough torture; there should be no call for making them dance on top of that.

 _But_ , a little voice says, because of course Kakashi can never just be happy with a decision. _But what if someone else asks him? The Slytherin girl he’s always with, Pakura, or Mangetsu, or one of the visiting students. People look at him just like you do._

Kakashi’s been looking since fifth year, when everything with Obito quieted and faded back to peace, and Zabuza came back from summer vacation with shoulders that were twice as broad as before and a grin that did funny things to Kakashi’s stomach. It hasn’t gotten better, either; Zabuza is tall and big and laughs too loudly, to the point that Kakashi always has to look over at him when he does it. Can't look away, not as fast as he would like, and—

Zabuza is showing the first year how to charm snowballs to fly on their own, and even from this distance Kakashi can see the sharp slant of his grin, the way he laughs. One of the Beauxbatons students, a slim redhead with violet eyes, has joined in, and his snowballs spin in the air and shimmer silver, making the first year jump after them excitedly. Kakashi can't help but stare as the redhead leans into Zabuza, telling him something—maybe _asking_ him something, a small, unhappy part of Kakashi’s brain insists—and he’s beautiful, really, clearly a skilled wizard if he came to compete. If Zabuza—

But Zabuza is chuckling, shaking his head, and the redhead is smiling with something that looks like understanding. Or maybe Kakashi is just reading too much into it. Either way, the Beauxbatons boy doesn’t leave, stays to throw charmed snowballs up in the air with Zabuza and the first year boy, and Kakashi tells himself that any minute now he’s going to look away, go back to his novel and enjoy the way Tsuko is finally realizing her love for the hero, but…

The first year boy crashes into Zabuza, bearing him to the ground in the snow, and Zabuza is laughing, dumps a huge handful of snow on the boy and scrambles to his feet, and a charm sends the snow whirling up around him as he moves. He isn't—Kakashi would call him handsome, but only for lack of a better word, and he breathes out, can't quite tear his eyes from the angle of Zabuza’s sharp jaw, the darkness of his hair in the winter sunlight, the way his damp robes cling.

Kakashi is alone in his quiet sitting room, a small fire crackling on the hearth and the door locked. There's no one to see him reach out, laying his fingers against the cold glass of the window. He wants to touch, though. Wants to feel the breadth of Zabuza’s shoulders up close, the heat of his skin, the way his laugh vibrates through his chest, whether that laugh is mocking or truly amused.

 

 

Traditionally, the Triwizard Tournament supersedes the Quidditch Cup at whatever school is hosting it, but this year a fourfold effort by Rin, Zabuza, Pakura, and Aoba eventually wore down Professor Hashirama. He gave in to the captains’ insistent demands that he not ruin their last year at Hogwarts by canceling Quidditch, so the matches are on. There is, technically, a break for the winter holidays, but no one seems to have told the actual players that, from what Kakashi can see.

At this point, it’s not much of a surprise. Being friends with Rin, Gryffindor’s captain; Obito, Slytherin’s Keeper; and Aoba, Ravenclaw’s captain, Kakashi knows far more about Quidditch than he ever even vaguely wanted to as a child, and he gets dragged to every single match regardless of his protests. It’s a rather distressing state of affairs for someone whose only attraction to Quidditch is to the players in their uniforms, Kakashi thinks.

(Well. One player specifically, but that’s neither here nor there. Zabuza just happens to have the best physique out of the captains, no offense to Rin intended, and a tendency to lose his shirt rather more frequently than is probably strictly necessary, not that Kakashi is protesting.)

All of this, Kakashi would like it noted, is because he has _terrible friends._

“ _Kakashi_ ,” Rin pleads, hands clasped together in supplication, eyes wide and pleading. One wouldn’t think she was responsible for a good quarter of the chaos in the castle on any given day. “ _Please_. I'm asking you as a Gryffindor to do this one thing for me. It’s _vital_.”

Kakashi can already feel that he’s going to lose this argument, the way he does most arguments with Rin, but he marshals his defenses anyway. “I'm not going to spy on Hufflepuff’s practices for you, Rin. Do it yourself.”

Rin pouts, and it’s truly devastating. “I got banned,” she says breezily. “Come on, Kakashi, they’re not going to do anything to our Triwizard Champion, and I just what to know what new plays Zabuza is using. _Please_.”

“Why should I help you?” Kakashi demands. “You're a terrible person who won't even help me find a date.”

Rin's pout transforms into an eyeroll, which, _typical_. “If you observe the Hufflepuff team,” she says, and Kakashi carefully notes the avoidance of the word _spy_ , “I’ll stalk Obito on his study-date with Yahiko.”

Seeing as Kakashi wasn’t even aware the Obito _had_ a study date with Yahiko, this is actually a surprisingly good deal. He hesitates for a moment, eyeing Rin, and then asks, “You’ll hex Yahiko if he tries anything? No Quidditch player solidarity or something?”

Rin scoffs. “He’s on an international team,” she says. “We’re in such different leagues that even if that _did_ count I wouldn’t care. And besides, it’s _Obito._ If Obito looks even _vaguely_ unhappy I'm going to glue Yahiko to the library ceiling with a Permanent Sticking Charm.”

This ruthless streak is one hundred percent Obito's fault, and also probably the reason there are cautionary tales out there about Slytherins and Gryffindors bonding, but Kakashi is just glad it’s mostly worked out for the three of them. “Deal,” he says on a sigh, and Rin beams and hugs him.

Really. Terrible friends. Kakashi is going to get better ones any day now.

 

 

Kakashi doesn’t even bother trying to hide his presence in the stands, which is Rin's own fault for failing to specify whether this was supposed to be covert observation or not. Since she didn’t, and because she had a point about the Hufflepuff team as a whole wanting to win the Triwizard Tournament more than they want to hex Kakashi for spying, he simply saunters into the seats and drops down in the announcer’s box, using a heating charm to melt the snow around him and add a touch of warmth to the air. December should be too cold for outdoor activities, he’s long since decided, but no one has actually asked him for his opinion and the Quidditch players don’t seem to care. Several of them turn to glare at Kakashi, and he offers them a cheeky wiggle of his fingers in return, making himself comfortable.

“I thought prefects were supposed to be above running errands for their girlfriends,” a sharp voice says, and Kakashi glances up from the notebook Rin pressed into his hands to offer Zabuza a bullshit smile despite the scarf wrapped halfway up his face. When Rin gets her playbook back covered in doodles—a good percentage of which Kakashi plans to make stick figure porn, just so that she’ll never make him do this again—it’s going to be her own damn fault for subjecting him to this. Zabuza is wearing a shirt for once and his arms are _still_ unfair. No one should look good in that much yellow and black, but Zabuza manages not to look like an overgrown bumblebee by sheer dint of his shark-toothed grin and the breadth of his shoulders.

“Rin isn't my girlfriend,” Kakashi says, maybe a little belatedly, but if there are any merciful gods it hopefully comes off as dismissive. He flicks his fingers at Zabuza, shooing him delicately, and prods, “As you were.”

Zabuza frowns for half an instant, brow furrowing. He’s absolutely not cute. No man with that much muscle can be cute. Kakashi calls bullshit. “She’s not?” he demands. “Then who are you opening the Ball with?”

At this point, three days from Christmas and with every second counting down to his dateless deadline? Probably one of the more kindly ghosts, Kakashi thinks, and tries not to grimace. “Does is matter?” he deflects. Catches a blur of black out of the corner of his eye, and warns with the automatic instinct of sitting through too many Quidditch practices, “Bludger.”

Zabuza spins on his broom, flipping his bat up. With a hard heave, he knocks the bludger flying, sends it spinning back towards Shisui and shouts, “Worry about actually seeing the Snitch, not kicking the bludgers, asshole!”

Shisui makes a rude gesture. “Stop flirting and get back to practicing, _Captain_!” he shouts back, then yelps and ducks as a second bludger just misses his head. Zabuza laughs, waving his thanks at Hana, and the younger Beater gives him a wink and a cheerful salute, then swoops down to meet the one Zabuza hit and send it at Shisui as well.

Kakashi pretends that his heart didn’t rocket up into his throat at the word _flirting_ , swallows and glances towards the other end of the pitch and does everything he can to look like he doesn’t give a damn about the way Zabuza’s thighs look wrapped around the handle of his broom. Tries _very_ hard not to imagine them wrapped around something else entirely, and mostly fails.

Rin is going to be getting a _lot_ of stick figure porn for this, and Kakashi is feeling both petty and horny enough that he’s probably going to charm it to move, too.

“Aren’t you supposed to be the pride of the school?” Zabuza says pointedly, turning back to look at Kakashi. He swings a leg up and over, folds it under him so he’s almost sitting sidesaddle on his broom, entirely uncaring of the thirty foot drop below him. Kakashi is absolutely certain that mild insanity is a requirement for being a Quidditch player. “You show up without a date and the rest of us end up looking pathetic. Can't you find anyone willing to put up with you for one night?”

“Are you volunteering, Momochi?” Kakashi challenges lazily, but his heart feels like it’s beating sideways and upside down in his chest.

Zabuza pauses, briefly startled, and then laughs. “Sure,” he drawls, and his grin is all teeth. “Got to show some school spirit, right? I’ll take one for the team, if you're really that hard up.”

Kakashi is fairly certain he’s going to die. This is _terrible_. This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to him. A date with Zabuza? A _dance_ with Zabuza? Having to _act like they’re dating_ for an entire night? This is it, he’s _doomed_.

“Seven thirty in the Great Hall, then,” his mouth says without even an ounce of input from his brain. “If you make me look bad I’ll curse you to sing showtunes for the rest of the year.”

“At least I know how to dance,” Zabuza retorts, but his grin hasn’t wavered. There's a rush of air behind him, and in an instant he’s thrown himself back, over the side of his broom. One leg hooks around the handle and Zabuza flips right over, rolls his broom and comes up with his bat swinging. The bludger goes flying, and Zabuza follows it without looking back.

Fucking _damn it_. Kakashi resists the overwhelming urge to bury his face in his hands and groan. He is _absolutely_ going to die on Christmas and there's no chance of saving himself.

 

 

If his stick figures are screwing a little more enthusiastically than is entirely necessary when he shoves the playbook back into Rin's hands, and if one is wearing Quidditch robes as it rides the other like a broom, that’s Rin's own fault for putting Kakashi in this situation. Karma. Comeuppance. Entirely justified. What else was he supposed to do with Zabuza and his stupid biceps and his stupid face and his stupid fucking _thighs_ right fucking _there_ for the two hours it took the Hufflepuff team to finish their practice? Really, she should just be grateful there aren’t even more.

(Obito laughs at Kakashi for a solid hour before he’s willing to undo the Bat Bogey hex Rin hit him with, and even then he spends the rest of the night snickering intermittently. Someday Kakashi will get his revenge on both of them, and it’s going to be _glorious_.)

 

 

It’s a quiet Christmas, which is a nice change from Kakashi’s visit home with Obito last year, during which his father spent the entire time convinced they were dating, and the Christmas before that, when Obito was evil and corrupted and staging attacks on the Ministry of Magic at every turn. Kakashi wanders down from his dorm an hour or so before dawn, carrying his stack of presents, to find Obito in the Gryffindor common room, curled up with Rin's cat Isobu. Rin herself joins them about half an hour later, still yawning, and they open presents in front of the fire, trading increasingly ridiculous ideas as to the remaining Task and what the stakes will be. Obito is holding out hope for a manticore, while Rin wants an obstacle course and Kakashi just wants to survive it with his skin intact.

Breakfast is a lazy affair, and so is lunch. Obito leaves some time after, muttering something about getting ready, and Rin and Kakashi trade glances but let him get away with the lie. Stalking Obito on his walk around the lake with Yahiko leaves them both with just enough time to get ready, and since Rin is behind him prodding and chivvying, Kakashi actually makes it to the Entrance Hall and seven thirty-five, clad in dress robes and with his hair vaguely sort of brushed. Too much effort, in his opinion, but Rin's opinions overrode his yet again in this case and Kakashi got no say in anything except not polishing his shoes, and even that was a fight.

Of course Zabuza is waiting, punctual and in the appropriate place, leaning against the wall with his arms folded over his chest. He’s in dark blue robes edged with a purple so dark it’s nearly black, and they cling subtly to his arms and shoulders and waist in a way that means Kakashi is going to spend this entire evening _suffering_. He only just manages to strangle a groan, pointedly doesn’t look at the smug grin Rin shoots him as she bounces over to Kurenai.

“You showed.” Zabuza smirks at him, pushing off the wall and straightening, and Kakashi very definitely doesn’t follow the flex of muscle with a dry mouth and _want_. “I expected you to end up hiding in the library or something.”

Kakashi grimaces. “Professor Mito told me she’d set Kurama on me if I tried to skip,” he says, and Mito is terrifying on a good day, but in combination with her familiar? Kakashi would be lucky to make it out of that encounter with even a few square inches of unburned skin. Madara grabbed Kurama around the same time he forcibly recruited Obito, and Kakashi still has nightmares about facing the spirit fox on the battlefield.

With a laugh, Zabuza falls into step with him as they head for the other Champions near the door. Yahiko is there with Obito on his arm, grinning like he’s never been happier to be anywhere, and the Durmstrang Champion, Ameyuri, is leaning back against the wall, a pretty girl with sandy blonde hair beside her. Kakashi gives her a nod, and she grins at him and then whistles at Zabuza.

“You clean up nicely,” she laughs. “Save me a dance, all right?”

Zabuza rolls his eyes. “Like I'm going to take time out of my night to dance with my cousin,” he retorts. “Hi, Karura. Finally dumped that asshole?”

The blonde girl smiles, maybe a little sheepishly, but Kakashi can see the way she squeezes Ameyuri’s hand. “Rasa isn't that bad,” she demurs, “but yes, we broke up. It’s nice to see you again, Zabuza.”

“Your cousin goes to Durmstrang?” Yahiko asks, which means Kakashi doesn’t have to do it and possibly come across as interested in anything to do with his life. “And you chose Hogwarts?”

(If his arm goes any tighter or lower around Obito's waist Kakashi is going to give Rin their Signal and it’s not going to end well for the bastard, Kakashi thinks, narrowing his eyes faintly.)

Zabuza shrugs, but his smile has gained a sharp edge that has nothing to do with humor. “Certain people thought it might be better if I was out of the way of temptation,” he says. “And she’s my _adopted_ cousin.”

Clearly something of a minefield there, Kakashi assumes, eyeing him, but he doesn’t ask. That whole interest thing, and also it looks like Zabuza doesn’t want to talk about it. “You said you know to dance?” he asks instead.

Distracted, Zabuza glances away from Ameyuri, one brow lifting. “Yeah,” he drawls. “Can you?”

Only because Mito dragged him out of class to teach him personally, but Kakashi is hardly about to revisit _that_ bout of trauma that’s better left forgotten. “As long as you can follow,” he says, because Mito managed to teach him to lead despite Kakashi’s best efforts, but after that she’d surrendered to the inevitable and let him go with a strict warning to practice.

Kakashi _did_ practice. Yesterday. With Genma, who was kind enough not to laugh at Kakashi’s sudden panic at having to _dance with Zabuza_ and not make an idiot of himself. So he’s at least had a reminder in the last few days, but if Zabuza only knows how to lead—

“Sure,” Zabuza says easily, and his smile is lazy as he looks Kakashi over. “Following’s fun. I'm good at that.”

The words are perfectly innocent, shouldn’t send a bolt of heat straight down to Kakashi’s toes. He keeps his breath from hitching by sheer force of will, smiles back even though all he can think of is Zabuza _following_ , pliant under Kakashi’s hands, mouth hungry, eyes hot—

Yeah. Kakashi is _absolutely_ going to die tonight.

(It might not be _quite_ as bad as he expected, though. Just _maybe_.)


End file.
